Excerpts From a letter from an incarcerated dad to his son
To My Gift of God
I am so grateful for you, I’ve been wanting to write this letter to you for a long time. There is so much that I want to say to you and learn about you. I also want to apologize to you, but before I go any further I want/need you to know that I love you. I love you and Mom more than anything in this world. You and her are my greatest pride and joy.
I want and need to apologize to you for my absence all this time; from the bottom of my heart I sincerely apologize. I am sorry for not being there for you, I regret and kick myself in the ass every day for the choices I made that resulted in me being removed out of your life.
I could sit here and give you a boat load of reasons as to why I haven’t been there for you but to be honest I have no excuse for it. All I can say is, that I’m sorry and pray and ask you to please if you can find it in your heart to forgive me? I want you to know that not a day goes by that I don’t think about you and pray with all my heart, that one day god would allow me the opportunity to be a part of your life.
I know that I can’t get back all the years that I’ve lost with you but my greatest desire is to be able to be the father that you deserve. I know that my current situation isn’t ideal and that this letter may seem to be coming out of the blue, but the truth be told I’ve been talking to Mom on a regular basis, asking questions about you, loving and cherishing every story and moment that Mom has shared with me about you. I also got pictures of you which I look at everyday (one in particular of you carving a pumpkin) for inspiration and motivation. I love that picture of you, my handsome and precious gift of God!
I’m so proud of you, you are such an amazing gift and such a blessing to me that you just being who you are has changed my life in a positive and profound way. Truth is YOU saved my life. Your’s and Mom’s very presence motivates me to be the best man, father, husband that God has intended me to be. I believe that God has brought you into my life as part of my saving grace….. I love you and I want you to know that I am super proud of you, …. I pray that the day will come when I will look into your eyes and see that look of pride in there, my goal is to make you proud of me and I promise to do all I can to make that happen. I know that this might be a lot for you to soak in right now, but whatever it is you are thinking or feeling, I want you to know that I’ve always loved you…….
My absence all these years from your life wasn’t your fault. It was due to choices I made, who I chose to call friends and choices I made without thinking about the consequences and to be completely honest with you, for not listening to Mom!
Your Mother is an amazing woman, super smart, extremely beautiful, and the best friend a guy can ask for, you are truly blessed to have her as your Mom….
I love you Papi and I am extremely proud of the young man that you are becoming. May God continue to bless you and protect you, stay safe and be good kiddo.
Ps. Do me one favor go to Mom
And give her two hugs and kisses,
One from you and the other from me.