By Demond C.
Believe you are loved no matter how many mistakes I’ve made. When you were born I had the highest of hopes for you. All the things I didn’t receive I’d make sure there given to you. Hugs, kisses, I love you’s all the time. My whole life was Dedicated to not being the parents I had. Emotionally, financially, I would never be my dad. But there was so many things I missed inbetween. Like forsaking your mom chasing after the finest things. (material things).
Understand that your dad is human. An all humans make mistakes. We all have to live with the Decisions that we make. Even though were miles apart I don’t love you any less. I feel quite the opposite I know I’m blessed. I thank the man upstairs for my Wonderful life. I have a beautiful Daughter, an a mother I better understand, a father no longer fault. Despite my flaws I’ve still become a man.
Realize life has a way of showing you who is boss. No matter how much you acquire all can be lost. So my advice to you is appreciate each day, each hug, each kiss, tell your mom and dad their loved. No one ever wakes up an plans to Die that day. Make some mistake that takes it all away. So before you say hurtful things or go out your way to hate. Know tomorrow may Never come no Debate. Forever living with hateful angry words is a Burden no one should have to overcome.
Impact you have on my life has been great! I’ve become a better person, son, man, an father. Many people don’t realise the Impact they may have on another persons life. It can be Good, bad, or inbetween But know everyone you interact with leaves something behind. Make sure you always leave your warm smile an personality. I find it joyous that I can see myself so much in you. I know me being here has had the worst impact on your life an ability to trust. For that I am sorry. But whether I’m in or out of here its always going to be us. Your still my world an none of that has changed, not a day goes by that I don’t mention your name.
Emotionally many men find it hard to express themselves. But that doesn’t mean we don’t feel. This whole jail process has taught me a lot, the tuffest dudes in the world have soft spots. Many people end up in jail because they couldn’t express what they felt. They felt pain, hurt, confused, abandoned, lost, an delt with it the wrong way. Anger, frustration, Disappointment are all human emotions yet they destroy men. Because instead of processing these emotions most men Defend what they feel.
Drained is what happens after it all plays out. Your in trouble. Who do you turn to? People begin to judge you, slowly you see who love’s you. Trust an believe it aint the people you think! Self-preservation is a strong emotion. No more friends when society says your wrong. Family an friends disappear they believe what they hear. The fact that they’ve known you forever seems lost. Your words are wasted, who cares about the truth.
Advocate I see an know how this system can be. So,
Learn from my mistakes. The World is Real an people are fake, learn to express yourself Verbally an deal with stress or end up in here like all the Rest.
Inarticulate is what most incarcerated people are. They lack the ability to say what they think or feel which leads to physical actions which can get out of hand, most Jail Birds drop out of school at an early age which ensures their permanent stay in I.D.O.C. Because they cant comprehend how to free themselves.
Void – containing Nothing, lacking, Empty space, feeling of hollowness, most Inmates at I.D.O.C. start off feeling this way before they make it here.
Effect of feeling void is hurt people hurting people because they don’t Realise things can get better. When people know they are loved they act different. When people know their actions effect all their loved one’s an not just themselves they React Differently. The effect of I.D.O.C. has changed me Dramatically for the Best. I have a better Understanding of life an myself, God an my purpose in life. So I love you Baby girl an know daily I fight to Return to you. I’ve learned so much more to teach you. Buried Alive.